I have been redeemed.
“He delivered us from the power of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” – Colossians 1:13-14
There have been countless times when I have thought there is so much brokenness in my life that I don’t even know where to begin to heal. The mistake I made for so many years was believing that I needed to heal myself when only the One who made me can truly heal me.
After understanding this, I realized that I needed to surrender my brokenness to God. I needed to show the Lord the parts of me that needed His healing, mercy, and grace. The truth is that everything in my life needed to be restored by Him, but I just didn’t know how or where to start, so I just told him “Lord, I am carrying so much baggage, there are so many parts in me that need to be healed, removed, transformed. Please help me because I don’t even know where to start.” I have said different versions of this prayer multiple times throughout my life and the Lord has indeed heard me. He has been doing beautiful, yet painful things in my life that have led me closer to Him.
Today I’d like to tell you that the Lord hears your prayers too, He can heal you, He is not done with you yet.
But even if we know in our head that the Lord can heal us, wounds can be so deep that we might not believe this truth in our hearts. Have you ever felt so broken that everything hurts – physically and emotionally? Have you ever felt so broken that you don’t believe there might be a better future ahead? Have you ever felt so broken that you start to reduce your identity to your own brokenness? Have you ever felt so broken that redemption and mercy seemed so far away? If you said yes to any of this, my dear sister, you are not alone. However, I want to tell you that there is hope, there is always hope. But most importantly, a merciful God is pursuing you tirelessly.
The years 2017-2020 were the years when my episodes of depression started to be more often and stronger. I had already started therapy and I knew I needed to go deeper to let God heal me, but my wounds were surpassing me. So back on December 12, 2020 (during the feast day of our Lady of Guadalupe) I went to a small chapel after mass and kneeled before the tabernacle with Jesus inside of it and in my heart, and in tears, I told the Lord “God, please heal me, please break my heart if you need to, but please make it anew.” Man, oh man, God indeed heard my prayer. These past few years have been transforming and the Lord has taken me deeper into my story, my brokenness, and my misery. I’ve suffered and I’ve embraced the pain, but I’ve also experienced God’s faithfulness and grace. Little by little, I have given Him parts of my life that needed to and still need to be brought to the light, healed, and redeemed. This is an ongoing process, I am still in my healing journey, which might end until the day I die. As a dear mentor of mine says “There are parts in our lives that are like onions and the Lord wants to go deeper, layer by layer.”
The Lord wants to do the same with you, my dear sister. He wants to heal you, restore you, redeem you, and make you more like Him. He sees you, He hears you, He knows you. He knows your story and He is not indifferent to your brokenness and suffering. But you need to be willing to bring those parts in you to the light, to surrender them to the Lord, and to start and continue with your healing journey. It will be painful, but so worth it, so please be not afraid, the Lord will do incredible things in your life, if you just let Him. During this season, therapy, counseling, mentorship, and spiritual direction can bear so much fruit. So I’d like to encourage you to ask for help and let the Lord heal you in an integrated way: mind, body, and soul.
I know what it feels like to be so broken, that you don’t even know how to bring the pieces back together; so broken that you believe it defines your identity; so broken that you truly just want your life to be over because it is too much to bear. But God is all mercy and love and He wants to redeem us, He wants to make us anew. There is hope for you, always.
Christ is our redeemer. This is the truth.
We have been redeemed. This is the truth.
